Flying Lessons

This diary form blog is meant not only to provide insight but also to document my growth in writing, in feeling and in life. This is my life's story, my mind's visions, and my hearts truest sentiments. This is my Heart, Mind, and Soul.

Soar with me and learn of my life's turbulences.
- Rebecca Elizabeth Serrano

similar symptoms

you’re lit up, always smiling, feeling like you’re gliding, floating on a cloud.

that’s what happens when you fall in Love.

you bring their name into conversation every chance you get, emitting joy as you sing songs that describe this Love without regard of how you sound.

it’s what happens when you’re in Love.

you’re filled with gratitude, freed from loneliness, wanting to share this feeling, inspired in so many ways so that you can express what you have found!

elated with this new Love, you feel alive with open eyes, completely surrendering, pouring into the hearts of others what overflows from yours.

that’s what its like when you’re in Love.

you’re loving this feeling, desiring to explore its every depth because its profoundness gives you meaning, enjoying all it is revealing.

so, here i am.

in love.

i am in Love with the Peace of mind this Faithful Love fulfills me with, giving me purpose as i rest in His loving arms.

i am in Love with a Love that understands, accepts, forgives, encourages, guides, protects, provides, is jealous for me and saved me from a life of emptiness.

i’m in Love with a Love i don’t deserve. a Love that humbles me and liberates me from the fear of losing this Love because this Love promises to never let me go.

this Love has loved me since before i ever knew what Love truly Was, Is and always Will Be.

i’m in Love with the Truth and the Wisdom and the Faithfulness this Hopeful Love has freely given.

i’m in Love with a Heavenly Love that i cant keep to myself because it fills His heart when i share it.

i’m in Love with a Selfless Love that started out as a flame has grown and burns with no intention of being contained, a Great enough Power and Fire to change the world!

so, if you see me or when you speak to me or read anything i write, my prayer is that you’ll know this Love or want to know this Love because God, Himself is Love.

Praise and Glory all to Him.

Only a Prayer Away

You can be far from Him,

But you’re never out of His reach.

You can be apart from Him,

But He is a part of you.

You can refuse to ask forgiveness,

But He has already forgiven you.

You can deny Him,

But one day, so also shall He deny you.

Glad to be writing again! Especially in this new place in my life. Praise God for His inspiration. Blessings!

Forgive me Lord,

Forgive me if I didnt bring You glory just now. You know my heart as well as my intentions but teach me Lord God to plant a seed but not to over water it. Some seeds are taking longer to become the beautiful flowers I long to see in Your heavenly garden. Grant me patience and take my pride, God, so that I submit to Your timing instead of forcing Your plan. I ask this in Your son’s precious name, Amen.

Lack of femininity?

It’s a ridiculously common conversation for me. My personality and tendencies are often considered unfeminine by people and especially men. An unladylike lady.

It seems to be a disadvantage. At times.

But this is who I am.
This is who I am happy being.
I suppose I could change.
If I wanted to.
But I dont.
Want to, that is.

I was raised by my dad.
It was always just my dad, my little brother and myself. I grew up learning a man’s mind and their intentions. Men’s fears and feelings became easy to understand. I have an insight to men that most women don’t. Most women just see their way. I on the other hand have many perspectives to choose from. I wouldn’t consider myself delicate but my heart and feelings are. I’m sensitive in a strong way. But the guys I like want a rose on the outside and I’m a rose on the inside. I’m beginning to see that although many of the men I meet like that I understand them, theyre not seeking to be understood. So what the hell are they in search of?!

In a lot of ways, men make more sense to me then women. But they’re just as confused as women are in terms of what they want. They’re willing to overlook, what I would consider, some of the worst characteristics in a person as long as she has that bangin body or that snooty attitude or that uppity presence. A lot of guys are attracted to what a woman appears to be as opposed to what she really is.

But with me, what you see is what you get.

Upfront, you’ll know what I’m about.

It’s always been important to me to know who a person truly is. And now more than ever, especially in this society, it’s gotten a lot harder to see what ppl are really about and frankly it’s probably because ppl aren’t really about anything anymore. At least not anything worthwhile.

But as I’ve said before, I don’t think it’s about understanding the opposite sex. It’s about understanding what you need as person and finding someone who’ll meet those needs without having to mold yourself to fit them.

This all came up because a friend referred to me as “one of the guys” in front of his girlfriend. It hurt a little. Definitely got me thinking. Mostly because I thought I had grown past my tomboy ways. But then it was brought to my attention that perhaps the comment was less about me and more about him. To protect his closeness to me, in front of his girlfriend.

This is why it’s important to accept yourself.

There’s nothing wrong with you.

You’re just different.

Different isn’t always understood.

But you’re the only one who has to understand.

So, fo’ get about it! Haha

Be prosperous!

I must make an effort to no longer chase ghosts of “if” and shadows of “maybe”.

You want me to see how my decisions have taken me away from you but you dont want to see how your choices take you away from me.

Alone in heaven or popular in hell?

Not on the same page

I want someone who wants me too.
You just want someone who wants you.
So here I am wanting your selfish self, realizing that I’m givin you what you want, not gettin what I need.

What may have been boredom to others was exhilaration to me. For me, boredom was sometimes a room full of people.

—Isn’t it pretty to think so (via awkward-person)

(Source: stubbornatheart, via jesseyoung)

Somedays, I swear, I’m flying.

Somedays I really soar.
The wind is caught beneath my wings so right,
I glide straight into a tranquil night.

Somedays, I swear, I’m flying.
God lifts me up, above it all and the distant sound of the worlds choatic fuss starts dying.

Somedays are like a storm with trying turbulance that tests the soul.
Those are the days I take refuge in His grace and thank Him with nostalgia of the days I was able to soar.

His sun-like warmth and light shines brightly in my heart and those days, I swear, I’m flying.

Trouble With More Is

More challenging than knowing how to feel is knowing how to behave.

More difficult than knowing what to think is knowing what to say.

More confusing than knowing what is right is wondering if I’m wrong.

Prayers of a Struggling Christian

Father in Heaven,

I thank You for the abundance of blessings You shower me with each and everyday. I have my life, the health, love and support of my family, an income, a form of transportation and a clear mind accompanied with a humble heart to receive your guidance. I thank You for the mountains You so quickly moved in my life. I’ve seen You reach Your hand into my life. Each morning I rise with the sun and Your beauty and love is so clear to me. As the activities of the day progress, the ugliness of the world settles in. I come to You with a troubled heart…

Forgive me, Lord, for giving into my fleshly desires. Forgive me for allowing others’ trespasses to tempt my temper. Forgive me for cursing my brothers’ and sisters’ for they were made in Your image. I struggle with ‘loving the sinner apart from their sin.’ Forgive me for allowing myself to be guilted or driven by the judgment of anyone apart from You. Forgive my weaknesses..

I come to You and ask for strength, oh Lord. Strengthen me against the temptations of the world. Guide me through my troubles. Teach me to see the lessons. Help me to communicate Your message at all times. Teach me to love as You do. Please, God, “forgive them for they know not what they do.” Help my brother and sister return to Your Grace. Help them to see how deeply they need You. Help me to be an example for those I love. Help them to be patient with the changes You make in me. I have accepted You above all things. Help me defend You graciously. Help me to be a better reflection of You.

You are the creator of the Heavens and the Earth. I come to You because all things are made possible in You. I thank You, Lord, for I am imperfect and undeserving. All that I ask for, I ask in Jesus name.

Amen.

The Day My Prayers Were Answered

It was a Tuesday night, nearly 12 am. I had finally gotten to lay in bed at a decent hour after a guilt-filled weekend. I had the day off and went to my youth study group which I had gone to consistently since my first day. I had heard a testimony from a girl who had surrendered her life to God. She was only twenty-two and had received the guidance and direction I had so deeply longed for. She explained in detail the plan that had been revealed to her once she stopped trying to control her life. His plan had become clear.

That same Tuesday night, as I lay in bed, I closed my eyes, and I prayed. I poured out all my hearts’ desires, aspirations, goals, fears and weaknesses. I tell you, I had NEVER prayed like that before. I was forfeiting; surrendering my life, my worries, my doubts, my, me, me, ME! I let go! And as I let go and accepted that I had never had control and that all I had to do was surrender to His will, a peace came over me and before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.

What had I prayed for?

The discipline, dedication, determination, consistency and persistence of acheiving any goal. The goal I first asked Him to help me accomplish was losing weight. But I was specific. I didn’t just ask to wake up thin the next morning, I asked for specific changes I wanted to see in my life. I asked for a healthier lifestyle. I asked for willpower. I asked that He help me wake up with energy and drive so that I could make it to the gym at 6am so that I could exercise before work. I continued to pray for other things that were on my heart and mind when I finally dozed off about 12:30am. That night I had the most profound REM sleep I could ever remember having. At 5:30am, only four hours later, I awoke without any alarm. Stunned, I got out of bed to check my alarm and reasoned that I would be too tired at work and that maybe it was best I just get more sleep. So I changed the alarm to 7am and got back into bed. I tried to fall asleep. I tossed and turned stubbornly until I finally realized what was happening and began to laugh with tears in my eyes. With a huge smile on my face, I gestured toward the ceiling as if to Him and said, “Alright! Alright! I’m up!” As I walked away from my car toward the gym almost in disbelief, “Am I really here?”, I chuckled. “How did I get here?”

I am a testimony of prayer.

Since that day, my life is forever changed.

I’m exercising four to five times a week. Going to bed at a decent hour. My diet has completely changed. Soda is a rarity. Little to no drinking. In the process of buying a bicycle. Bible study twice a week and church on Sunday morning. I was struggling with many things and one particular bad habit but since my prayer, I stopped altogether. Nothing felt impossible anymore.

“Do not be misled. For bad associations spoil useful habits.”

You may think that, prayer is not for everyone. You may think that it’s just something some people choose to believe in. Well, you’re right about the second part. Prayer doesn’t work, unless you believe.

“God does not answer desperation. He answers faith.”

My prayers had been answered within four hours. The next day! Granted, it doesn’t always happen that quickly but God had seen the need in me. He answered, as He always does. He responded to the condition of my heart. He answered because He knew that this time, I was ready to listen. I was ready to answer His call. Everyday, I thank Him. Everyday, I ask Him to not let me go; to keep me close.

I’ve lost six pounds in two weeks and I’m still going. I feel happier, stronger, and more clear minded than I ever knew how to be. But I didn’t do it alone. Because we are humans, we fall. But all things are made possible with God, in Jesus name.

He’s got an addictive personality and she’s just another bad habit he can’t drop.